Feeling confused about your sexuality or gender identity? That's totally okay.

Sometimes, figuring out who you are can feel overwhelming and not easy at all—especially when it comes to your sexuality or gender identity. Maybe you're wondering why you don’t feel like you fit in the labels you've grown up with, or you’re questioning who you’re attracted to. Whatever you're feeling, just know this: it’s okay. You’re not alone, and there’s no rush to have all the answers.

Questioning your identity

You might have heard terms like gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, or non-binary. But what if none of those quite feel right? Or what if they do, but you're not sure yet? That’s completely fine! Questioning your identity is a normal part of life, especially as you grow older and learn more about yourself. And if you feel identified with a specific label and then change your mind, it’s also fine!

Sexuality and gender exist on a spectrum. While society often talks about things in binaries—male/female, straight/gay—the reality is, there’s so much more in between. You might feel attracted to people of any gender or none at all. You might not feel like the gender you were assigned at birth really matches how you feel inside. If that's the case, remember there’s no "right" way to be, and there's no rush to label yourself.

The Genderbread person is a great online resource that illustrates this. You can find this resource on this link: The Genderbread Person version 4 - ❤ It's Pronounced Metrosexual (itspronouncedmetrosexual.com)

Your feelings are real—Even if others don’t understand

It can be tough when people close to you, like your family or friends, don’t understand what you’re going through. Maybe you've tried to talk about your feelings, only to be told, “It’s just a phase”. But the truth is, you know yourself better than anyone else. Your feelings are real, and it’s okay to explore them, no matter what others say.

Many young people struggle with being accepted by their families when they come out. Some people come out at a young age, but not everyone does. Coming out is your choice, and you should do it when you feel safe and ready. You can find a specific blog about “Coming Out” in the hub blog: [insert coming out blog link].

The important thing is that you feel supported, whether by friends, a community, or organisations like the Sexual Health Centre.

There’s no one way to explore your identity

You might be asking yourself, "What if I don’t fit into any of these labels?" or "What if I’m wrong about who I am?" The simple answer is: it's okay. It’s normal to question, to explore, and to take time to figure things out. Some people know their identity early on, while for others, it’s a journey that takes time. What matters is that you’re honest with yourself and give yourself the space to explore what feels right for you.

If you’re feeling pressure to define yourself, remember that there’s no deadline for figuring this out, and no one should be pressuring you to do this. Whether you're exploring your sexual orientation, gender identity, or both, take things at your own pace. If you're unsure about labels, it's perfectly okay to say, "I'm figuring it out."

You're not alone: support is out there

It’s normal to feel anxious or lonely when you’re questioning your identity. Sometimes, it can feel like you’re the only one going through this, but you’re not. Many young people are in the same boat. Whether you're feeling uncertain, confused, or even a little scared, support is available.

The Sexual Health Centre in Cork is here to help with free services, including LGBTQIA+ support and counselling. We can also connect you with other resources and projects in Ireland if you're looking for more information or just someone to talk to.

Take Care of Yourself

It’s okay to be confused. It’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to feel scared or unsure. Just remember that your feelings are valid, and your identity is yours to define. Be kind to yourself, take things one step at a time, and reach out when you need support. No matter where you are on your journey, you're allowed to be exactly who you are.