HOW CAN I STAY SAFE WHILE SEXTING OR DATING ONLINE?
OVERVIEW
STAYING SAFE WHILE SEXTING/DATING ONLINE
INTERNET
The internet can be a great source of information; however it is important to keep in mind that a lot of the information provided on the internet is not always objective, correct or true. In an increasingly digital world, our online safety is more important than ever. Due to the growth of the internet and the number of internet users, online safety is becoming more complex. Safety issues come up in relation to online relationships, ‘cyber sex’ and sharing intimate images and videos online. Along with this comes an increased chance of exposure to various forms of abuse and exposure of personal information. For guidance on staying safe online, have a look at the following blogpost: www.sexualhealthcentre.com/blog/online-safety. Some issues that arise online come from social media safety, making comparisons with other people, body image, and porn consumption.
SOCIAL MEDIA
Social media provides a great opportunity for communicating with others. You can improve your safe use of social media if you:
• Limit the amount of personal information on your social media profile e.g. do not share your schools, hometowns and full date of birth etc.
• Accept only people you actively know as your friends, as unfortunately some people are not who they say they are.
• If chatting online, only speak with people you know.
• Do not let any photos be taken of you via webcam.
ONLINE BULLYING
• If you experience any bullying while online, you can screenshot the evidence, avoid responding and block or report the person. If the messages are ever threatening, you can report it to An Garda Siochána. You can also contact one of the support services at the end of this booklet, such as Childline.
SEXTING
• Sexting involves sharing sexual messages, and nude or sexual pictures and videos by message. When an image or video is shared, it is difficult to control whether it will be shared again with and by other people.
COCO’S LAW
• How you appear online should be up to you. Under Coco’s Law, It is illegal in Ireland to take, share or threaten to share intimate images or videos of someone without their consent. For example, if you take a picture of yourself and send it to someone, it is illegal for that person to share it without your consent. This includes edited content or ‘deep fakes’. If you were or are in a relationship with the person who has shared or threatened to share the content without your consent, this increases the seriousness of the crime, according to Irish law. You can contact one of the services listed at the end of this booklet for support. If someone shares your intimate images or videos without your consent, you can:
• Screenshot the shared content and images as evidence.
• Report it to An Garda Siochána
• Report it to the social media platform (if it is on a social media platform).
• Talk to someone you trust.
SEXUALISED CONTENT INVOLVING PEOPLE UNDER THE AGE OF 18
• It is illegal in Ireland to knowingly view, download or share sexualised content involving people under the age of 18, as it is classified as ‘child pornography’. This includes an image or video of a person aged under 18 engaging in sexual activity or showing their genitals. For example, if you are under 18, it is illegal for you to have or share a picture of your genitals. Edited, animated, or simulated content, as well as audio content can also be classified as ‘child pornography’. If you see (or if someone sends you) this type of content, you can contact An Garda Siochána and anonymously report the content on www.hotline.ie.
SAFETY WHILE DATING ONLINE
Dating online can be fun and exciting, but it’s important to stay safe. Meeting people online is becoming more common, but it also comes with its own set of risks. Here are some steps and tips to ensure that your online dating experience is both safe and enjoyable:
PROTECT YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION
Avoid sharing your full name, address, phone number, or other personal information too early. Keep your profile information general.
Be cautious about sharing any social media accounts that contain personal details, such as your location or workplace.
USE REPUTABLE PLATFORMS
Stick to dating apps or websites that have safety features, such as profile verification or reporting systems.
Check the platform’s privacy policies to make sure your data is protected. If you have any doubts on this, try to contact the platform’s customer service.
TAKE YOUR TIME
Don’t rush into meeting someone in person or sharing intimate details about your life. Take the time to get to know the person first.
If someone is pressuring you to meet or share personal information, that’s a red flag.
If you suspect someone is not being truthful about their identity, stop engaging with them and report their profile.
USE IN-APP COMMUNICATION
Keep conversations within the app or website until you feel comfortable. These platforms often have safety measures to protect users.
Avoid moving the conversation to private messaging apps or sharing your phone number too soon. Remember the previous: take your time.
VIDEO CHAT BEFORE MEETING
Arrange a video call before meeting in person. This helps confirm that the person you’re talking to is who they say they are.
It also gives you a chance to check their body language and communication style in real-time.
MEET IN PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME
Always meet in a public place, like a coffee shop or restaurant, for your first date.
Let a friend or family member know where you’re going and who you’re meeting.
Keep your own transportation so you can leave whenever you feel the need.
Make sure your phone is charged and you are able to chat or make a call.
Avoid taking alcohol or other drugs during the first time. If you decide to go to a pub, do not leave your drink unattended.
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS
If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Trust your gut and walk away from any situation that makes you uncomfortable.
You have the right to say no or leave at any point.
WATCH OUT FOR CATFISHING
Catfishing is when someone creates a fake profile to trick others into a relationship. Look out for inconsistencies in what the person says, refusal to video call, or reluctance to meet in person.
REPORT SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR
Most platforms have a way to report abusive or suspicious behavior. Don’t hesitate to use these tools if you feel unsafe.
Block anyone who makes you uncomfortable or who harasses you online.
BE MINDFUL OF YOUR SAFETY ON SOCIAL MEDIA
If you connect through social media, make sure your profiles are private and that you control who can see your posts.
Avoid “checking in” or tagging your location in real-time, especially when meeting someone new.
REMEMBER: CONSENT IS KEY
Just like in-person relationships, consent is essential in online dating. Make sure all interactions are mutual and respectful.
If you ever feel pressured or uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to stop communication.
YOUR SAFETY
Your safety is the most important thing, and you should never feel rushed or pressured into anything. If at any point you feel unsure about someone’s intentions or behavior, reach out to a friend or trusted adult for support. Online dating should be fun and enjoyable, but staying safe should always be your top priority.
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